Wednesday, August 16, 2017

A Reflection


Sometimes I take comfort in the musings of Einstein....that in a constantly expanding universe anything is possible. I believe that and I would like to think that somewhere out there is a parallel world where I remain happily married to Weng. Where the madness of Trump is contained in a small black bottle labeled "never open". Where my and all children go to college for free and there is no need for the mindless military. Where no one on earth is hungry. 

Funny thing, most of those noble things ARE possible.
It only requires what we humans already have - peace, love, understanding and the will to be happy.  

Now, back again, Weng is no more and I hear the sound of war machines overhead in the sky where the birds and angels once flew. I pray for us all.


Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Monday, August 14, 2017

Freddie, The Movies, Those Who Would Take My Children's Future Away

It is Monday Folks,

Anyone watch the news today, or yesterday? The Soul Of The South is on fire. The rise of Trump's demons has begun in earnest.

EVER WONDER WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE HOMELESS? I was asked the other day, in a legal proceeding by an attorney, what would happen if I was unable to keep my and my childrens home here in Portland. I tried to explain that the only reason why we could afford to live here, have the kids go to great schools, live in a city so progressive with so much opportunity was because I had the foresight some 41 years ago to buy this little home and piece of land. But that was not the answer the attorney wanted to hear. You see, it was not my fault that the world outside our gates would change so much - that the wealthy would see what I had seen so long ago - the natural beauty of this area and move in masses to this backwater. Giant houses of empty space and cute things, some as big as hotels with only a couple of people living in them. Waxing their new Jaguars, BMW's, Benz's and the like...... All so neat and orderly. I do not blame them, nor do I judge them. In many ways they have been good for the area. Better roads (but SOO overcrowded), fantastic schools, incredible convenience (best money can buy) - it can influence one to be discontent with the simple things, to place money and ease of living above the true wealth of love and family........

The answer that this attorney was looking for was simple - that if I failed in my sincere efforts to keep our home then we would be homeless.


So, why is that so ironic? Also simple. For years son Francis and I have been auditioning at the annual PATA offerings. The Portland Area Theater Alliance. Many of you readers may recall that Francis is a gifted writer and academician. He is also a tremendously gifted Thespian. I started attending the PATA auditions as a support to him. But, go figure, last year, after my audition, I was contacted by a professional filmmaker and offered a role in a movie to be filmed here in Portland! How cool is that? Since spring the film has been in pre-production. Next week the filming begins. The crew has arrived from Hollywood. Yesterday we had our cast and crew launch meeting. 

I play the role of Freddy. An old man who has lost everything except his integrity. Homeless and broken financially, he lives in a tent in a homeless encampment. He is given one last chance to change his future and hopes to regain what has been taken away from him. The name of the film is 'Judith' and it is a story of a woman, who facing divorce, must find the meaning of what is important to the soul of marriage. Her adventures lead her to many walks of life seeking the answer. She saves Freddy from a vicious assault by thugs and later, in a compassionate moment, she visits his place where he gives her the answer she has been seeking.

Rehearsals have been extremely emotional. I do not talk about the place I am in my personal life. 

I will let you know how the filming goes. It is possible that Carter, Thomas and Francis will be cast as extras. What a great experience for them and their creative futures.


Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Sunday, August 13, 2017

First Rain In A Long Time

Good Wet Morning,

It has not rained here in western Oregon for a couple of months. At around 3 am it began to rain. We have put a lot of time into rebuilding the house this summer and there is a lot of construction stuff/tools that are outside. Some are getting washed by the rain......

So, at around 4am I did the first load of laundry. Teenagers make a lot of dirty clothes! Then dishes. Teenagers make a lot of dirty dishes!.....

Time for Mr. Brooks.....

Make coffee and turn on the t.v.     Ouch! The racial demons have been unleashed by Donald Trump. What an ass he is. Charlotte North Carolina.   Nazis and KKK and skinheads kicking and killing. My god, and we all just sit around and let it happen.

Shame on us all.


Actions (or lack of) Speak Louder Than Words

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Slept In........

It is afternoon,

Thomas is visiting with Cholie, going rafting with friends. I am being domestic on this lovely day - cleaning the house and preparing for the laundry. I did not get to it yesterday and it is building up a bit.......

Work at the roadhouse was busy last night. A great band and loads of really happy people. It was a very, very long day and my emotional strength was at an all time low - the events of the divorce proceeding had sucked my soul very dry and I left feeling so damn empty and small. Small because I spend soo much of my time, money and soul on this endless divorce. I did not ask for it, I have not asked to put it off and off. 

Tomorrow I will write a little about it. Not out of anger or spite or meanness - rather I will write about it to help heal myself. 

But, I got home late last night from work and I slept in today until almost 7am. Well, I need to get back to it.......


Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Friday, August 11, 2017

The Bone Soul Crushing Of Seperation

Late Evening,

Carter is downstairs watching Dr. Who.. I am headed that way in a couple of minutes. Today was one of the most emotional days I have had in, well, as long as I can remember. 

Then off to work after nearly 5 straight hours in a lawyers office. Work was busy. The roadhouse has a terrific reputation and it is always a healing of my soul to go to work. I love being around people and the feel of just making people happy (and getting paid for it).... As good as working for the little cinema....

Great band tonight. The joint was jumpin and the feeling was sublime. 

Got to run...


Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Thursday, August 10, 2017

The Truth

Hello World,

The truth is hard. Often it is easier to just believe what you want to believe. But facts are stubborn. 

Very recently my name and my values were publically slandered by a man who has a very popular blog on RVing. Shame. He claims to know my family. He does not. Many years ago I showed him kindness, offered him shelter and acquainted him with friends of mine in Mexico. Even though he is double her age, he fell in love with my then wife. I will not ask anyone to consider her motives in cultivating their friendship, only to observe without bias their relationship. This man has made many false claims against me and and my children. I now sleep in fear that he will seek to justify his false assertions against me and my children. His blogs have recently been purged of most of his remarks. How funny is that? (fortunately, a couple of friends make screen shots of them)
This man has not had a conversation with any of my children since they were very young. He has publically lied about me and defaced my character and integrity as a parent. He lied and said I was an irresponsible gambler - a total lie! Why would he say such a thing? All of my time, money and resources go to my children, Now and always have. And since he does not live anywhere near us, and never visited us and does not write - how does he get his information? There are many family friends who are alarmed about this and the threats placed against me. Some have called for legal action. Think about it for a moment - what kind of damage does that do to someone who has been publically been accused of mistreating his own children??
I sleep in fear of my life after reading his public tirade about arming himself and doing justice to those he feels have maligned him. This man has done great harm to my children and to me.


"The Truth Shall Set You Free"


Actions Speak Louder Than  Words

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

A Very Busy Time!

Hello World,

Busy personal time......frightening time in the world. Two mad men with the power to destroy mankind are channelling pure crazy testrone overload. You can feel it everywhere.

At home we are all overworked. I have not had any time off for 18 months. It is HARD being a single father of 3 school age kids! Too much of my time and money goes to the endless divorce proceedings and the ex offers ZERO support. The kids suffer greatly. I am weary of the uncertainty in our lives. The ex left us 2 years ago.....we have paid the price for her freedom.


Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Friday, August 4, 2017

Carter Takes The Stage

Good Warm Morning,

Yesterday was the hottest day in Portland's history. I made a total of six trips to ACMA - not only in hot traffic, but smokey air - the wildfires in British Columbia and Washington State have made the air here hazy and smelling of wood smoke. Thomas worked at the roadhouse in the morning at his new job, kitchen prep. He likes the work - 5 or 6 hours a week and he is very good with a knife cutting veggies and prepping food. Unlike me, Thomas is very quiet and keeps to himself. 

Carter performed on the stage last night in the Summer Theater production of 'Smile'. She was great. Like in almost every show my kids have done I attend nearly every performance. In this piece, she plays 'Little Bob'. A parent could not be more proud. This has been a very difficult year for our little family and the commitment of theater has been very, very good for Carter. 

The day begins...


Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Climate Change & My Children

Good Morning,

Our fearful leader has once again done something un-American and stupid. God, this madness seems to have no bottom! He has joined the GOP march to turn this country into a lilly white mono culture by backing proposed immigration legislation that would require all immigrants to be super smart, speak english and, in effect, believe that his blind faith leap into destruction is the American Way. 

By the way - how has the weather been where you live? Seen any bees lately? How about frogs, heard any of them? I can only hope that there are others out there talking, blogging and communicating with each other - unafraid to comment, concerned that we are killing our childrens future. Time for people to do something about what is going on instead of pretending all is ok and filling their heads with mindless visions of a world that no longer exists. 

Yea, I'm pissed off. You readers and I and our generations have dropped the ball and I, for one, am ashamed. 

"Just Do It"


Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Carter & Dress Rehersal

Good 4:30 am,

Yesterday it was really hot, today will be even hotter. No rain here in the Pacific NW for over 40 days. Why is that?

Carter has been going to the ACMA (Arts & Communication Magnet Acadamy) summer theater intensive course fulltime now for the last 5 weeks. 4 days a week I take her there and then pick  her up. It is a lot of driving but it is really worth it. Like most public schools there is never enough money (and why is that?) so yesterday we had to go to the local Goodwill to buy part of her costume - she plays the part of 'Little Bob' in this years production of the broadway musical 'Smile'. Performances will be this week!

Then I will have 3 weeks or so before school starts again. 3 short weeks to get a million things done around here and prepare for the coming winter. Yikes!

"No one said it would be easy,
       No one said it would be this hard....."

                          - sheryl crow

The day is starting


Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

A Hot One......

Good August First Morning,

The next week will be record breaking temperatures here in Portland, Oregon. Like 108 or better....

I think there is only one person left in America who does not really believe in Man Caused Climate Change. And he is only getting richer by the second........


Actions Speak Louder Than Words