Thursday, July 20, 2017

What Happened To Weng?

Simply put - Weng became someone else. She is now Rowena, a single woman. That is her choice and I respect it.  She moved out of our home over 2 years ago. Last year she demanded a divorce and I agreed and filed. Had I not filed, then she as a Philippine citizen would not be legally divorced in her native country (Philippines does not permit divorce).

Somewhere along the line I became, in the words of a well known traveler, a rodent.

I guess in this new age of revisionist history this man's assessment of me carries some water. Alternative Facts can be so comforting in their simplicity.

But reality is an uncompromising firewall against deception. Love is such a strong emotion - it can blind us to the truth in front of our very eyes. I know this.  My children know this. Getting older does not give one the right to judge another person publically with little regard for the truth.

More importantly what is the role of a loving providing parent? It takes a gift of one's time and understanding. Of writing and showing understanding, commitment and love. Who would disagree?

We live, sadly, now in a world of 'Me first', everything else second. A tragic cost to the true meaning of family. I have been ridiculed because I am a humanist first and a consumer second. Because I believe that it is our responsibility to provide our children with the best future that we can. I have lived in the same home for 41 years now - of that 22 was with my brother, 20 with my ex wife and soon 21 years as a guest of my children.

I returned to college after a 30 year gap to develope the skills necessary to start a new business. For a reason. Some may know that I worked as a labourer for decades to support our family. In 2012 health issues (RA and lung) nearly dropped me in my tracks.  For nearly 5 years I worked in this manner against the advice of my doctor until I could do it no more. July of 2015 I made arraingements to return to the local Community College and I started that following winter. Now, after 52 credit hours, I maintain a straight 4.0gpa, am on the presidents list, in the national honor societ and have received scholarships to pay for the rest of the schooling necessary to get my associates and move on to my bachlors degree. I am proud to say that it has not been easy. My Professors are talented and I share a common academic and social respect for my classmates.

At age 64 what is my motivation? My children and their future.

Before I am further judged consider: I work and go to school when my children go to school, even during the summer when I drive Kawena goes 4 days a week to summer theater intensive, Thomas going to summer school for chemistry. Thomas and I are rebuilding the house (Kawena helps with stucco drywalling work. I do all of the domestic work around the home, the shopping, transporting the children to all of their activities, and now teaching Fhomas and Francis to drive.

So, in closing, I would say, looking at the Big Picture, follow  the money from hand to hand - who pays for what and when and why.

I would rather be regarded as a rodent by those who know nothing of the truth of my childrens and my life than be a  self rightous sugar daddy or momma fueling personal greed over the lives of those who stand to lose the most in this life from that self centered shame.

Actions speak louder than words.


  1. I wasn't happy to read the vagabonder judging you, very unfair. He tends to be an old grouch at times.

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  2. Hello Shelley,
    Thank you for your kindness. There are always two sides to every story, even the made up ones. I stand by my words, my values and my total, absolute commitment for my children.