Saturday, July 22, 2017

"And She Didnt Think That Money Was The Measure Of A Man."

Passion - It can cause a person to change his position on almost anything. Seek to remove printed words, suffer the fear of the printed word. You can not unring the bell. As a recent victim I know what I am talking about - about the damage and the emotional pain and the insidious scars it leaves on the innocents. I dont sleep any better than anyone else who is being attacked. Is my life and time less valuable than some one else's? I am I to be punished because I acted with honor? 

I dont think that there is person alive who disagree that Thomas, Carter and Francis are intelligent, compassionate, perceptive and intutitive way beyond their years. As a single father I am both proud and a bit intimated of them. I realize that I will never have the breath of experiences or mental capacity that they possess. They have far exceeded my aspirations as humans.  Yet people talk and children hear and read. So do their friends and they go to school with them. What is to be gained from an ignorant outsider's bitterness, anger and lack of compassion?

Our life is not fiction. Francis recently had serious dental surgery. Insurance did not cover it all. He suffered a lot over months and months yet did not tell me or his brother or sister. He knew that money was dry and thin and that emotional days of pain and separation were upon us. Perhaps you think that I dramatise.......How many of you have comforted your 20 year old child while he was weeping from the pain of not being able to handle it any more? Who did he come to and why?



The Buck Stops Here.


Best Regards
Fran

Actions speak louder than words.

Mr. Brooks



Good Morning Readers

It is first light here in Western Oregon. The neighbor is a retired musican who made his living in the high tech world. He is in his 90's and raises chickens. He has one of the biggest roosters that ever crowed..... I love this time of the morning - so quiet and calm. For the better part of the last 18 months I have used this time for my college studies but right now, because I am only carrying one class, I find that I can devote a little thought and time to my long neglected blog.

I first learned of the world of blogging from a unique snowbird whom I met in Mexico and extended the hospitality of my family's home to. His advice about writing the blog was to:

Keep it short. Keep it very simple so that it could be understood. Keep politics out of it and never say anything bad about someone else on it. Well, for any long time readers out there you probably know that is not my style. I am openly opinionated and have used my blog musings in a candid manner that cuts as well as sews.

Well, today I dont have much to say about the insanity that has taken root in the 'leadership' of our beloved country. Anyone remember my piece on Health Care written 7 or 8 years ago? Did the Oracle of Aticama hit the nail on the head or what?

Sorry about that, I normally dont refer to myself in the 3rd person or the imperial we. So, how does the day of a single father raising 3 school age children start? Perhaps many of you out there can answer that. Of, course, raising children in todays digital, more socially accepting age is totally unlike any generation before it. Everyone knows that and if not then one has to have been hiding under a very large rock....... Most days for me start at 4:45 am. A few minutes dressing then to the kitchen and make that morning pot of coffee. The news is on and I check the weather. A force of habit heldover from the grinding Handyman days. While the jo is making I was the dishes - the hot water is good for my RA. The muscles in my hands have knotted into poorly strung steel bands from decades of construction. Take the compost out to the garden. Water the veggies. Grab that cup of coffee and head into the laundry room and do that 4 person dirty clothes load - first fill the washer then fold the clothes. I enjoy this simple task. In the winter months, for the last 40 years, I load and stoke the fire. In warm weather I burn yesterday's paper and it heats the hot water system for the morning use. By now it is time to give the kids the first wake up call. I have been doing this since they started school, some 15 or 16 years ago. Normally I would then make breakfast but recently that time now belongs to Mr. Brooks.

Mr. Brooks is our new puppy. He is a 4 month old Australian Cattledog/Border Collie mix. Smart, well mannered, loyal and protected. About as perfect of a dog as you could ask for. We go for a long morning walk together on all the trails here on the property I have created over the last 40 years. We go to the property lines, he sits and looks, I tell him to guard and we move on. Then up to the road where he sits, looks both ways, then we cross over the street and we walk to the local park. Mr. Brooks is a rescue dog and the kids and I looked for 5 months for him, going on saturdays to the adoption centers and looking in the want ads. Our previous dog, Ahab, died several years ago and we were not permitted to have another dog for some unknown reason until the parenting situation changed. Mr. Brooks is a friendly puppy and our cats, Ruby, Willow and Waddle still dont know what to make of him.

After our walk I make breakfast, give the kids the second wake up call, and then, during the summer months I take Kawena (who now prefers to be called Carter - who knows where she came up with that name but I kindly ask everyone to respect her right to be called what she wants to be called and afforded the dignaty of her individuality) to the Arts & Communication Magnet Academy where she attends the Summer Intensive Theater course. This is her 3rd summer doing this, 4th if you count her first summer at Sunset High. ( I have been a parent volunteer for the kids theater classes for 5 years) Then I go to work or class. Unlike construction the work that I do now is plesant and personally rewarding - working with the public at a small and very cool, old roadhouse. I have dozens of regulars and we always greet with warm genuine smiles. On Friday nights the joint has live music. My co-workers are the best. After work I pick up Carter and we go grocery shopping or run errands. Back at home I put in a few hours on the re-building of our little home. A slow but rewarding job. Then, on the weekends I take Thomas to his work (often with me) at the local 2nd run theater. Carter often comes with us, sometimes she stays home and works on her artwork and Francis (now nearly 21!) becomes the man of the house. Carter is also working up a couple of songs for an audition soon. Thomas just bought a little car and is now learning to drive - yup, you got it - I am teaching him. His girlfriend, a sweet caring and delightful young woman lives on the other side of Portland and I normally only have time to take him there on the weekends but he is good with that.

Of course, my day is filled with other parental activities as well but I always try to squeeze in my weekly tv show - every Saturday morning I watch re-runs of the amazingly well written western from the 50/60's - 'Have Gun Will Travel' mid morning.

Well, out of time. Mr. Brooks is ready to walk and so am I. I hope to share a bit of mine and the kids day often - I do it again for the pleasure of it, I dont get paid to write. I believe it is good for the soul. In the last year I have written more than 30 college essays and papers. (Perhaps I should write one on the innocent victims of character assassination) Who knows maybe there is a Blog 101 offered out there somewhere!!

AN UNFORTUNATE DISCLAMER:
I do not play poker and am not a gambler. One only need to ask any of our  family friends. I have been, however, active in local politics in both Aticama and in Portland as many of family friends (and public officials) will attest to. One such meeting comes to mind - the Ejido (governing body) of Aticama held an emergency meeting years ago to decide weither or not to sell a piece of beach property on a day that some friends were visiting our home. I was invited to attend by the ex Ejido president (a family friend who's passing I wrote of in my blog) and was invited to speak before the group.  A spirited discussion was held that was documented.

Actions speak louder than words.

Friday, July 21, 2017

Judgement And Ignorance, Kawena Gets Hacked



Respect. We all desire it, work towards it and if we show it, teach it. We live in uncertain times and many of us would rather believe one side of the story, take comfort in ignorance, strike out when feeling challenged, often create a distant arm-chair reality to  suit their beliefs. We see that every day now in the strange and frightening actions of those who claim to manage our common government. A simplistic twisting of sound bites designed to sway opinion. This Alternative Reality filters down through the public mindset and affects us all.

Respect. A persons name, appearance, values, education and outlook all deserve respect. When we lower ourselves to the pettyness of name calling and public slander we summon up the words of Richard Nixon - ".....benith my contempt." There is nothing to be gained from this infantile behavier - either from our so called elected officials 
, those who touch our everyday lives or from the general public.

Daughter Kawena told me that someone has been hacking her email and facebook. Who would do such a thing? I mean, really? A 13 year old - what for? Her money, her thoughts, her activities, her friends? There was only one other person, besides her, who knew her password in this world and I was not one of them. 

Got to run - taking the Kawena, Thomas and their friend to the mall!

Actions speak louder than words.

The Passing Of My Brother David

Hello

My brother David died on July 9th. I love him and I cared for him and he lived with me, here at our home, for 22 years. 

I have decided to return to my blog after many years of silence. There has been a reason for the silence and it has been personal. I have no wish to write a bunch of safe, sanitized mush to appease myself or those who would find entertainment in my musings. As others do. What you will read here is real and raw and uncensored. I write first and foremost as a dedicated and committed single father of 3 wonderful school age children. They are my life and there can be no disagreement on this matter.

I have decided to return to blogging not to defend myself against the bias of those who know little or nothing of me, but rather to defend the integrity of my children, of our lifestyle, our beliefs and our merits. 

If you are looking for bullshit or name calling or mean-spiritness you will have to look elsewhere. If you want to comment then I welcome any and all creative criticism but if you cannot restrain yourself from making unsubstanciated judgment then I will be happy to reply from higher ground.

I am a busy man and there is precious little time to devote to this type of writing but I will send my regards often.

Soon I will talk about the life and times of my kid brother David Eugene Kohler. I called him Dave, he was and he loved to sing. 

Actions speak louder than words.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

What Happened To Weng?

Simply put - Weng became someone else. She is now Rowena, a single woman. That is her choice and I respect it.  She moved out of our home over 2 years ago. Last year she demanded a divorce and I agreed and filed. Had I not filed, then she as a Philippine citizen would not be legally divorced in her native country (Philippines does not permit divorce).

Somewhere along the line I became, in the words of a well known traveler, a rodent.

I guess in this new age of revisionist history this man's assessment of me carries some water. Alternative Facts can be so comforting in their simplicity.

But reality is an uncompromising firewall against deception. Love is such a strong emotion - it can blind us to the truth in front of our very eyes. I know this.  My children know this. Getting older does not give one the right to judge another person publically with little regard for the truth.



More importantly what is the role of a loving providing parent? It takes a gift of one's time and understanding. Of writing and showing understanding, commitment and love. Who would disagree?

We live, sadly, now in a world of 'Me first', everything else second. A tragic cost to the true meaning of family. I have been ridiculed because I am a humanist first and a consumer second. Because I believe that it is our responsibility to provide our children with the best future that we can. I have lived in the same home for 41 years now - of that 22 was with my brother, 20 with my ex wife and soon 21 years as a guest of my children.



I returned to college after a 30 year gap to develope the skills necessary to start a new business. For a reason. Some may know that I worked as a labourer for decades to support our family. In 2012 health issues (RA and lung) nearly dropped me in my tracks.  For nearly 5 years I worked in this manner against the advice of my doctor until I could do it no more. July of 2015 I made arraingements to return to the local Community College and I started that following winter. Now, after 52 credit hours, I maintain a straight 4.0gpa, am on the presidents list, in the national honor societ and have received scholarships to pay for the rest of the schooling necessary to get my associates and move on to my bachlors degree.

At age 64 what is my motivation? My childrens and their future.

Before I am further judged consider: I work and go to school when my children go to school, even during the summer when I drive Kawena goes 4 days a week to summer theater intensive, Thomas going to summer school for chemistry. Thomas and I are rebuilding the house (Kawena helps with stucco drywalling work. I do all of the domestic work around the home, the shopping, transporting the children to all of their activities, and now teaching Fhomas and Francis to drive.

So, in closing, I would say, looking at the Big Picture, follow  the money from hand to hand - who pays for what and when and why.



I would rather be regarded as a rodent by those who know nothing of the truth of my childrens and my life than be a  self rightous sugar daddy or momma fueling personal greed over the lives of those who stand to lose the most in this life from that self centered shame.

Actions speak louder than words.